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Jedyna obrona
Przed sadem staje stary warszawski zlodziejaszek, co to juz 18 wyrokow
karnych dzwiga na swoim koncie.
- No i co oskarzony ma tym razym na swoja obrone? - pyta sedzia.
- Mecenasa Palatynskiego - pada odpowiedz


Kiedy kobieta jest podobna do slonecznika?
Wtedy, gdy ma nasienie na twarzy...


brudne_dziecko

Jacus sie strasznie ubrudzil, Jego ojciec mowi do matki :
- To co ? myjemy czy robimy nastepne ?



Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case...

Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.

Physicist (Theoretical):
Shit SHOULD happen.

Physicist (Experimental):
To within experimental error, shit DID happen.

Engineer: I hope this shit holds together.

Chemist: I hope this shit doesn't blow up.
Gee, what'll happen if I mix this and ... SHIT!!!!

Biologist: Is this shit alive?

Economist: I hope no one figures out that I don't really understand
this shit.

Beurocrat: I'm sorry, but we can't do this shit until you fill out form
XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy
Manager to obtain form ZN-271828...

CEO: (1980's) I've got all the shit I want.
(1990's) Oooh, SHIT!

Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.

Doctor: Take two shits and call me in the morning.
Yes, it's definitely a case of shit. $99.95, please...
Shit, where's this organ supposed to go?

Psychologist: Shit is in your mind.
Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing
its subconscious shittiness.

Programmer: It's shit, but at least it compiles.

Social Scientist:
Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen...

Politician: It's shit, but it'll get me elected.
If you elect me, there will never again be shit.
Shit is bad for the economy.

Waitress: You want fries with that ...
W ZOO miejskim padl goryl. Rozpoczeto wiec starania o sprowadzenie nowego, ale
poniewaz zajmuje to troche czasu, kierownictwo zamiescilo ogloszenie o pracy.
Zglosil sie gosc, wiec mu wyjasniono, co ma robic.
Chustal sie wiec w przebraniu goryla codziennie az razu pewnego przesadzil i
przeleciawszy ogrodzenie wpadl do klatki z lwem.
Biega od kraty do kraty i drze sie : LEW, LEW, RATUNKUUU!!!
Lew patrzy z przerazeniem i pewnej chwili nie wytrzymuje:
- Ty, cicho badz, bo nas obu z tej roboty wywala!