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Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case...

Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.

Physicist (Theoretical):
Shit SHOULD happen.

Physicist (Experimental):
To within experimental error, shit DID happen.

Engineer: I hope this shit holds together.

Chemist: I hope this shit doesn't blow up.
Gee, what'll happen if I mix this and ... SHIT!!!!

Biologist: Is this shit alive?

Economist: I hope no one figures out that I don't really understand
this shit.

Beurocrat: I'm sorry, but we can't do this shit until you fill out form
XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy
Manager to obtain form ZN-271828...

CEO: (1980's) I've got all the shit I want.
(1990's) Oooh, SHIT!

Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.

Doctor: Take two shits and call me in the morning.
Yes, it's definitely a case of shit. $99.95, please...
Shit, where's this organ supposed to go?

Psychologist: Shit is in your mind.
Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing
its subconscious shittiness.

Programmer: It's shit, but at least it compiles.

Social Scientist:
Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen...

Politician: It's shit, but it'll get me elected.
If you elect me, there will never again be shit.
Shit is bad for the economy.

Waitress: You want fries with that ...

- Dlaczego swinie w Wachocku maja na koncach ogonkow supelek ??
- Zeby sie nie mogly przecisnac miedzy sztachetami plotu...


Do kiosku podchodzi mlody mezczyzna..
- poprosze gumke.
- do zucia?
- do zucia to ja daje bez gumki....


facet poklocil sie ze swoja zona i wieczorem zostawia jej na szafce
nocnej kartke: "stara, obudz mnie o szostej bo sie spoznie do roboty!".
Budzi sie rano, patrzy na zegar, a tu juz 9. Wsciekly chce przylozyc
zonie, ale patrzy sie, a tu na szafce jest kartka: "wstowej stary, juz
szosta!".