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Klient w barze zamiast zamowionego
mleka otrzymuje alkoholowy koktajl
mleczny. Probuje go, oblizuje sie i z
podziwem mowi:
- Ale tu macie krowy!


- W domu czuje sie jak mucha !
- Taki jestes slaby ?
- Nie, tylko jak gdzies przysiade, to zaraz zona mnie przegania !


Matka trzynastoletniego syna do meza:
- Czy odbyles juz z Heniem te uswiadamiajaca rozmowe ?
- Tak, usilowalem skierowac rozmowe na kwiaty i pszczolki ale ...
- Co ale?
- On stale powracal do dziewczat.


- Panska tesciowa twierdzi, ze oskarzony podal jej trucizne.
- To wierutne klamstwo! Jezeli wysoki sad chce sie o tym przekonac, to
prosze zarzadzic sekcje.

--


Yuppie Shit: It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?

An Employer: Shit happens, and rolls down hill.

An Employee: I've done my shit, so can I take the day off?
This shit's not part of my contract.

Environmentalism:
Shit is biodegradable.

Heisenbergism: Shit happened, we just don't know where.

Quantum Shittydynamics:
Shit happens only in well-defined quantities.

Einsteinism: Shit is Relative.

Reaction to Seeing your Mother-in-law:
Relatives are Shit.

Washington: I cannot tell a lie--shit happened.

Lincoln: Four score and seven shits ago...

Nixon: Shit didn't happen, and if it did I din't know anything
about it.

Reagan: Well, I do believe that shit happened. I was just taking a nap.

Quayle: Whye doe peopl treate mee lik shite?

Clinton: I didn't inhale this shit.
I tried this shit before and I didn't like it so....

Bush: Read my lips: no more shit!
Wouldn't be prudent to shit at this juncture.
This looks like foreign shit. Let Baker handle it.

Perot: I'm sorry if I dropped you guys in this piece of shit.

McCarthyism: Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?

Martin Luther King:
Black shit and white shit CAN coexist...

Julius Caesar: I came, I saw, I shitted. (Veni, Vidi, Shitty)

John Paul Jones:
I have not yet begun to shit.

James Tiberius Kirk:
... to boldly shit where no one has shit before!

Computer Science:
There's a ...