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- Dlaczego w Wźchocku wiźže siŠ ?winie w pŠczki?
- ˝eby ich jastrzźb nie porwa?!


As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research
help from that renown scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990)
- I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa
Claus.

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species
of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT
since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total -
378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average
(census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
travels east to west (which seemes logical). This works out to 822.6
visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household
with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of
the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the
remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left,
get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the
next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly
distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false
but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now
talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/...
Mamut skubie sobie spokojnie trawke kiedy nagle nadchodzi stado sloni...
Mamut zaczyna uciekac, slonie zaczynaja go gonic.... ten ucieka a Slonie
go gonia... dopadly go, powalily na ziemie, skopaly, poobijaly... az
wreszcie odeszly....
Mamut wstaje otrzepujac sie i mowi: "Cholerne skiny..."


SHIT HAPPENS

in various world religions