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Taoism: Shit happens.
If you can shit, it isn't shit.
Shit happens, so flow with it.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.
Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit happens".
Confucious says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen
PROPERLY."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
Shit will happen again to you next time.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
7th Day Adventism:
Shit happens on Saturdays.
Hinduism: I've seen this shit before.
This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
This shit happening IS you.
Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
If shit happens, praise the lord for it!
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Episcopalianism:
If shit happens, hold a procession.
Lutheranism: Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.
Charismatic Catholicism:
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you
anyway.
Judaism: Why does s...
Staly informator dyrektora kabluje na szefa dzialu.
- On o panu dyrektorze opowiada, ze nie ma pan matury, ze uzywa pan
zwrotow obcojezycznych ni w piec ni w dziesiec, no i w ogole nie
nadaje sie pan na to stanowisko.
- Powiedz mu pan, ze moze mnie w d... pocalowac i vice versa.
Siedzi czlowiek na brzegu kaluzy a drugi w niej plywa. W pewnej chwili
tez z kaluzy podplywa do tego na brzegu i mowi: Przepraszam bardzo,
ktora godzina? Ten na brzegu zastanawia sie prze moment, wyciaga z pod
pachy termometr oglada go i mowi: Tam na prawo
SHIT HAPPENS
in various professions